Those days & Ina Mina Dika Times…

Some people have a way of influencing or even inspiring your life, decisions and all those crap in a totally unexpected & weird way…
Last weekend I was at Pecos with friends, Eric Clapton’s Layla playing in the background. Quite a huge relief that it wasn’t Akon or Justin Bieber! Not that I hate Bieber with a passion like some of my friends, but c’mon they play it everywhere…

Layla is close to my heart for 2 reasons. One its my Mumm’s name and two its IG and my song. For all those mad times we had in my & later her hostel room, Layla was a constant thingy. Burnt bed sheet, night time chicken cooking, ‘accidental’ smoke holes on my curtain, combine studies, assignments, Dariya Ganj n Pahar Ganj, our shifting n reshiftings, discussions on anythin & everythin under the sun, and OF COURSE lotsa bitching & cribbing…

And oh, even in Bangalore times (Nandi Hills trek & Koshy’s chit chats), I could feel the presence of Layla.

IG and my friendship was far from perfect. I used to easily misunderstand her, plagued by what they call the ‘small town’ complex and reinforced by my other friends.

One of my biggest flaws is that I find it difficult to trust. Instead I’d entertained thoughts like ‘why would someone as intelligent, pretty & popular (universally loved) chum up with me’. May be I resented the tag of ‘IG’s friend’? I don’t know… This in spite of her being there for me whenever I needed her and when not needed too. Ghoshhh… Immature college years, I tell you!

I never realized how much she has influenced me then… She has taught me to see good in everyone, every bad situation, just everything man…
I never realized this until one of my Kerala friends told me, ‘For God’s sake N, Have you joined sainthood or something?’ This was when she was random bitching about someone and IG’s words sprang out of my mouth… ‘You can’t judge like that… Look at it from her perspective…’ something like that.

I learned to let go of things from her, to forgive and move on…
‘Hate is a big word, N. And don’t you forget that…’

My uninhibited approach in relationships & people came from her.
She always used to say, ‘N, will this matter to you this much, sayyy next week?’

My life in metros opened my eyes to countless grey shades of life. But now I come to think of it, most of ‘em came from IG…

Its just a condom silly

Reading IHM’s blog about a lady’s flustering experience of buying a condom took me back to our fresher’s party at the main hall of Delhi School of Social Work.

Except for the precious one or two hardly anyone cried at seniors’ interrogation aka ragging at anytime. I mean, they were quite nice to me. But still I was feeling a tad nervous, least because I was a thousand miles from home. ‘C’mon now, you are not a 10 year old off to boarding school for the first time. You are an MA student.’ This thought didn’t help much.

Professors made speeches. Seniors danced, sang. We interacted and received gifts, nothing much. Then we reached the killer game. Seniors divided us into groups of 5 and gave 2-3 condoms to each group. I somehow stopped a horrified EWW escape me. Believe it or not, that was the first time I saw one. With shaking fingers I took it and dropped it immediately. We were supposed to think of OTHER creative ways to utilize a condom and present it to the audience. HOW?

Condom is kind of hard to touch, but light too. I tried to find out the stretching point to tear it. Wasn’t possible. Okay, now what? My mind was numbly blank or blankly numb. SB tugged the condom impatiently out of my hands. ‘Oh C’mon, Nidaa.. Don’t play with it as if you are seeing a condom for the first time’. She meant it a joke. I laughed, making her believe it so, all the while my heart was beating painfully.

She started handling it skillfully and came up with the idea. Lovers from different ships can use this to float messages to one another. We made a kind of play, something to do with a pirate and her mistress, separated and lonely in different ships. Another team blew it up real long, that it was almost my height, drew eyes nose and tongue and did something. After our presentation, I started to feel a bit dizzy. I sat down quickly. ‘What happened suddenly? You are shivering. Oh my God, you have fever. But you were alright 2 minutes ago…’ I knew SB was concerned, but I wished she’d shut up. My head was spinning.

Then just as suddenly I was OK. I can safely blame it on my first experience of touching a condom. 

Shamefully, I confessed to SB and IG that Im hopelessly inexperienced and don’t know anything. Heck, my main in high school was computer science and not biology. They laghed and were like its just a condom silly…

One of my seniors came to me as I was sitting far from everyone. When he asked what happened I felt a bit awkward.Then I burst out, ‘why why dya have to embarrass us like this, RJ Bhayya.. you guys are always thinking of ways to torment us girls…’ I was rambling. 

He wasn’t angry. He patted my shoulder and said as social workers we have to face lots. Like going to sex workers community and advocate use of condoms, like giving HIV workshops to truck drivers and suchlike.

‘If you yourself are scared of holding a condom, how are you going to help people and empower them?’ This game is to help you in the long run.

And it did.

I smiled at him and looked at my classmates. They were playing with condom balloons, throwing and catching. I got up.

‘Nidaa..’

‘Yes, Bhai?’

‘Its just a condom silly…

I laughed and joined my classmates in their foolery. At the time I couldn't help feeling that innocence is stupendously overrated.  

Months later, when at a workshop, a NACO representative was demonstrating how to use a condom. When he said you shouldn't put it on like socks, I was the one who laughed the loudest.

Routines and Zombies

"Hey Ni, remove that group photo from your orkut album, fare-o-well-o"

"Why, that’s d best picture among the lot"
"I know man. It’s just that he has his arm around me in it. If my people or relatives saw it then I am dead"

Oh God, why are all the relatives in the world so stupid and jobless?
And yet why are they taken seriously?!!!

"Hey, don’t send me A-jokes anymore"
"Why, aren’t you an adult?"
"My ettan (elder brother) was furious with me. Said he would tell Appa next time"
"Stupid, why do you show such things to your bro?"
"Oh, he reads my messages and check call lists at times"
"WHAT!?"
"He’s very caring and protective, you see"

Do I see?
***Speechless***

                     A week passed since I joined my new office. Lunch time.
I was going out for my usual stroll.

Office Security: Madam, you need to get permission to go out.
Me: What?
OS: Just wait till I call and ask.

Next Day.
Sir, may I go out to have my lunch please?
Manager: (laughing) You see it is not done. We have a valet here. You can give your orders to him.
Sir, I would like to spend my break my way. I prefer going out seeing things and choosing my lunch randomly. I like to watch people on the streets and such.

I don’t know how I managed to convince him, but I did. May be he was in no mood for a fight or didn't have the time.
Can you believe that people (men included) haven’t said anything about this till now! May be they are content to sit and chat in the office terrace the whole of lunch hour. I mean even in schools kids are allowed to do what they like during breaks!?

Heights man! Not the rules, but these dummies.