tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18971238562403472852024-03-13T05:47:03.509-07:00Reclaiming Lost MarblesE-unwinding!Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-48814838013658205072014-11-02T06:11:00.001-08:002014-11-02T09:51:46.068-08:00About Consent, Kiss of Love & Minding Our Own Business<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Consent- "agreement or permission to do or allow something" (Oxford Dictionary) <br />
<br />
Sounds simple enough right? Sadly this concept is beyond many as many incidents of moral police like the vandalism of Downtown café in Calicut and the arrest of ‘Kiss of Love’ campaigners today and many other previous isolated attacks proved. <br />
<br />
Agree that seeing couples make out can be a tad uncomfortable for some. But don’t you have the option to turn away or even leave the place? It is you who choose to get uncomfortable/angry/violent. <br />
May be you should try kissing your partner and see for yourself what is so wrong about it…? You might enjoy it. You might even get used to it and not bat an eye when you see smooching lovebirds in future. <br />
<br />
Does one have the right to walk over to a couple and pull them apart forcibly? Who is the criminal here? The kisser or the assaulter?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K6fcbOE1WjY/VFY79fJBoxI/AAAAAAAAASc/SGVojyfi1VQ/s1600/20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K6fcbOE1WjY/VFY79fJBoxI/AAAAAAAAASc/SGVojyfi1VQ/s320/20.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Now what is it about kissing or loving or even lust or passion by adults (above 18, of free will) that makes the self-appointed guardians of our Mahan Kerala culture go crazy?<br />
<br />
1. Our culture glorifies infantilizing adults:<br />
Every independent decision is frowned upon until & unless it hits gold. Like my R aunty who was ostracized by her family because she married someone of her own will and then everyone flocked to her when her husband became a successful entrepreneur – ‘we always knew she will do well in life’. <br />
<br />
2. Parents (or any powerful elderly in the family) know best card:<br />
Society judge a guardian based on the amount of control he/she exerts over their wards. This carrot and stick approach has always worked in manipulating parents to mould their kids to the societal expectations. <br />
<br />
3. Our society is a sucker for Manusmriti…<br />
… or atleast its golden words, ‘women do not deserve freedom’. Not allowed an identity of her own, a woman is always mother, daughter, sister, wife, or daughter-in-law. And of course unless an unwed mother discloses how she conceived, her child cannot apply for passport. Funny how the person who popped out the baby has no right but the one she says is the father has every right!<br />
<br />
4. If-you-don’t-like-it-ban-it attitude:<br />
Its like 'I don’t like pet animals, so anybody who dares to pet any animal in public should be arrested'. Not getting enough action? Go stop others who are getting it by hook or crook because its against our culture and definitely not because no girl worth her name would ever glance at you. <br />
<br />
5. Sexual frustration of Mallus:<br />
Unfortunately no one can help with this. We are talking about people who never spoke to a girl/boy in college/school. Porn is their sex education. A fulfilled relationship with compatibility, mutual respect, love and passion is probably fiction for them. <br />
<br />
World will be a much better place if everyone ‘minds their own business’, na? <br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-15137344784014040642014-09-17T09:06:00.001-07:002014-09-17T11:18:32.100-07:00I Wish...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
... that people would stop dissecting my decisions <br />
... that my insecurities and vulnerabilities would stay under the rock forever<br />
... that people would voice their concerns to a limited extent<br />
... that nosy aunties nosed less<br />
... that folks with wheels stop poking their head out and spewing random comments/advises <br />
... that people would stop making a big deal out of breasts and thighs and all those. Erm, normal body parts? <br />
<br />
... I could handle unpleasant situations with a calm demeanor <br />
... I could be more stingy with my tears<br />
... I could start reading like I did before<br />
... I could start travelling with the old gusto<br />
<br />
... to stop dumping my pain on others<br />
... to make her understand that attitude and crude rudeness are not one and the same<br />
... to hit my 30s soon and shave off my locks<br />
... to be more accommodating of differences without which there will be no completion<br />
<br />
... for my current bucket list to get over<br />
... and make way for the new one<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-18178703651642432982014-08-12T01:36:00.000-07:002014-08-12T01:42:51.383-07:005 Kinds of Old People I Just Can't Respect <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
OR TOLERATE!<br />
<br />
<b>1. "I am like your mother":</b><br />
This is often followed or preceded by some advice/demand you don'e need to hear. Sorry boss. You're not my mother. That place is already filled. <br />
Incident: A lady asked (ordered to get up) me to give up my corner seat in bus. I kept quiet and it was driving her mad judging by the increasing volume. Then ending with a 'wouldn't you obey if I was your mother'? I looked at her and said simply 'of course not'. <br />
<br />
<b>2. "My son this and that and his cultured upbringing":</b><br />
Yawn! Not-so-subtle insinuations about my upbringing! Yawn! To rectify that, keep visiting. A spoonful a day... <br />
<br />
<b>3. Starting every sentence with "you see I am very busy"</b><br />
Yes, yes, you are very busy and quite important. (Let me go!!!) <br />
<br />
<b>4. "Pity that Mrs So-and-so's baby is black"/"Sad that the second one is also a girl <i>again</i>"</b><br />
In my experience, it is the oldies who pass the most insensitive remarks like these, be it about someone's baby, a bride, or random someone walking down the path. <br />
Personally know people who refuse to touch dark-complexioned babies. <br />
<br />
<b>5. "I am well-read and knowledgeable..." (Don't argue with me)</b><br />
May be I am judgmental, but the moment a person, old or young, flaunts knowledge (rub it n my face), respect he loses my respect. <br />
<br />
Do people really take leave of their sense and sensibilities with age? I would have really believed so if not for some of the super chilled-out grans and granpas I know and am chuddy-buddies with. No, nothing to do with education either. <br />
If only it was as simple as 'age guarantees wisdom'... How easy everything would be. No mistakes, no experiments. It'd be as simple as hopping from old footprints to older footprints. <br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-24514579292164778392014-03-11T05:44:00.002-07:002014-03-11T08:50:56.124-07:00I don't agree <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">with the concept of Nikaah...<br />
<br />
I learned about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_in_Islam">Nikaah </a>from Madrasa when I was a child. I have seen it happen in my family many times. Then I had to study (by heart) marriage laws in India during my Masters. <br />
For those who don't know, Nikaah (Islam Marriage) is a social contract between the bride's male guardian (father or elder brother/uncle in father's absence). The bride's signature is obtained beforehand and hence the presence of the girl is unnecessary.<br />
<br />
Since I always preferred staying home or doing something else to attending weddings, I was all for the concept of Nikaah when I was a child. It meant that I could curl up with a book instead of dressing up and attend weddings because girls/women are not required to attend it. <br />
<br />
But now I chafe at the sheer injustice. No matter from which angle I look at it, it seems unfair. <br />
Take selling your car/property to another, for instance. Isn't this exact change of ownership happening in traditional weddings? Let's try and word it like - Father/Guardian giving the daughter as wife. Even replacing the word 'selling' with 'giving' doesn't gloss it over for me. The similarity makes me shudder. <br />
<br />
Of course this is no different from Kanyadaan or walking the bride down the aisle. That is why I think that the Indian Constitution is awesome with its <b>Special Marriage Act</b>. <br />
<br />
I never dared to say all this before. But I have to. I feel that my pride is at sake. My honour too. Everything I believe in is at stake. <br />
<b>BECAUSE I AM NOT A PROPERTY. I'M A HUMAN BEING!</b><br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-31553789078023366972014-01-29T23:55:00.000-08:002014-01-29T23:55:38.530-08:00Work Ethics- A Phone Convo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
Newly Joined Trainee: "Hey Sir... Soch rahi thi ki aaj chutti maaroo"<br />
Manager: "Erm... you mean tumhe chutti chahiye"<br />
<br />
Disclaimer: This from someone who is a master of miscommunication. <br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-54133972337608901732013-12-29T02:27:00.002-08:002013-12-29T02:27:59.382-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I attended a friend's daughter's birthday party last week. It was as noisy as a school playground. I had a classic 'what the hell am I doing here' expression on my face. KIDS!!!<br />
After the party, one kid had grabbed a teddy bear and it looked like he was going to take it home. I expected his mother to say something. But nay. In the end, my friend called that lady to a corner and said, 'thats K's favourite toy. Could you tell S to leave it here, please?' As expected, the mother got all offended and I will leave the rest of the drama to your imagination. <br />
<br />
I think that my friend did right. But later the story got so much embellished that the general response went something like 'what a bitch'. <br />
<br />
When I remember my mumm's 'we'll get another toy like that for you dear. Let him/her take it', I still think that my friend did absolutely right. <br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-44349067246008700852013-12-17T01:14:00.000-08:002013-12-17T01:14:13.367-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">How I wish schools encouraged sex education & open discussion !<br />
How I wish people understand the meaning of 'freedom of expression'!<br />
How I wish that they appreciate & accept differences as long as they're not harmful!<br />
How I wish people would embrace the concept of 'live and let live'!<br />
<br />
Be a homophobic for all I care. But is it necessary to persecute homosexuals?<br />
Why do you care about what they do in their bedrooms?<br />
<br />
I am mortally scared of dogs. Does that mean I incarcerate or kill them all? <br />
My fear doesn't give me the right to harass, harm or kill!<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-58204060916666082592013-11-21T09:19:00.004-08:002013-11-21T09:19:47.849-08:00Love, pride and all those things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I read a novel about this girl who has loved her friend as long as she could remember. <br />
Her friend realized that he too loves her- after 10 years. <br />
The girl chose her pride over the love of her life.<br />
I am feeling a bit sad.<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-65297186932724982802013-08-22T00:17:00.000-07:002013-08-22T00:17:05.097-07:00Blaming the Mothers- another trick of patriarchy’s to ensure that kids (read daughters) stay under control<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><i>My hair was all tangled & parted unevenly. <br />
A friend, looking at my hair, said jokingly, “How your mother put up with you? If I were your mother, I’d have given you one on the bum and made you comb.”<br />
I looked taken aback for 2 seconds.<br />
And then, “what makes you think that my mother haven’t tried everything and its just that I’m ‘unmanageable & disobedient’?”</i><br />
…<br />
<br />
This is just one instance. What is it with blaming the mothers? Nothing but a big manipulation our society pulls on the young ones. <br />
Wear western clothes, question your religion, value your independence, refuse to marry until ready or voice against injustice around you… <br />
<b><i>ANDDD</i>... </b><br />
Next you (and your mother) like cockroaches in the science lab become targets for some meaty character dissection. <br />
Since choices are mine, the consequences should also be mine, right? Why my mother gets the lion’s share of the blame? <br />
They say- Had my mother brought me up well without giving me too much freedom, I would have been a good obedient daughter. <br />
…<br />
<br />
PS: The thing is my mother did all she could to make me a good Indian Muslim girl. For some reason it didn’t work. <br />
<br />
<b>DEDICATED TO KAHLIL GIBRAN’S</b><br />
<i>“Your children are not your children.<br />
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.<br />
They come through you but not from you,<br />
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.<br />
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,<br />
For they have their own thoughts.<br />
You may house their bodies but not their souls,<br />
For their souls dwell in the house of Tomorrow,<br />
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams."</i><br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-58771318068091576202013-08-21T04:05:00.001-07:002013-08-21T07:56:31.147-07:00On Names & the rest...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I find my name boring. Well, mostly. Its mono-syllabic. I would have preferred a multi-syllabic name like my sisters have. It gives away my religion, geography... <br />
People modifying your given name is even worse. <br />
<br />
Now we all come across people with never-heard-of names. How many times have we stored away those names for our future kids? And I don't mean bizarre ones- like America, Earthina, Mangopple, Benzena etc. The last one, Benzena, is the name of a cranky chemistry professor's daughter in my hometown. <br />
<br />
May be I will call my kids Pepper, Efzee, Galaxy, Fire or something like that. Gender neutral as well neutral in every other sense. <br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-55964605354953644442013-08-20T04:25:00.001-07:002014-01-10T01:19:12.118-08:00My Plus 1 & Plus 2 Days With An Overdose Of Sexism<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b>1</b><br />
<br />
Plus 2: Sick of walking into our filthy classroom with dust, mud, paper bits and lunch remains flying around our math teacher Ms. Sham... sponsored a broom for the class.<br />
She drew up a ‘brooming schedule’ for the 15 girls, smoothly leaving out the 35 boys.<br />
“What about the boys?” I asked genuinely confused because in my previous school everybody had to partake in the class-cleaning activities.<br />
“Boys don’t sweep”- the teacher snarled while a few boys snickered. <br />
<br />
<b>2</b><br />
<br />
Plus 2: I was walking back to class after morning break. Something until then I thought only happened in movies or slums was happening spectacularly before my eyes. Let’s call them Mr. Stick & Ms. Stout.<br />
Stick was hitting Stout as though she was a punching bag. She was squealing in pain while trying to cower back against the wall. I stared with my mouth open. “<i>What the hell is happening</i>”. Stick muttered & growled something like a rabid dog and stormed out. <br />
<br />
Next minute she was bawling on my shoulders. Even while patting her back I couldn’t help but remember those random scenes of drunk husband kicking about the wife so common in our movies. <br />
<br />
If this was the story of one couple, I wouldn't have mentioned this. Many couples in our school were into this beating-crying syndrome. And the optimist in me hopes that they all have matured by now.<br />
<br />
<b>3</b><br />
<br />
Plus 1: My best buddy and I loved to sit on the wall in front of the school canteen to chitchat. <br />
In the initial days, some stared and some commented which were tuned out of course. Then (may be 2-3 months later?) it happened. <br />
<br />
The furious face of the usually jovial Nou Sir beckoned us over. We walked over meekly. He gave one big lecture about the uncouthness of sitting on wall, to remember that we are ‘<b><i>girls</i></b>’ (as if we didn’t know) and what people would ‘<b><i>say</i></b>’... <br />
<br />
A group of interested students nearby shook their heads in amusement. Nothing was said about the boys haunting the walls on the other side (not saying boys’ right to frequent the walls should have been taken away). <br />
<br />
Wonder how our sitting on the wall during morning breaks went unnoticed until then in a school full of sexists! <br />
<br />
<b>4</b><br />
<br />
Teachers were not just teachers but James Bond wannabes. And their area of interest? Students' love lives of course. It was for our good, they said. So that we remained focused on what mattered- studies. <br />
<br />
And the real drama followed once they found out who's whose bf/gf and who's kissing who and... Then the moral superiority surfaced. Calling the girls’ parents, berating the parents at the top voice for not bringing up their girls properly; without caring anyone could overhear (as I did once, which caused such an intense hatred in me for that teacher) and what not.<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
All in all I am glad that it was Plus 2 and not Plus 3 or Plus 4. I would have been indoctrinated after a while like any normal person subjected to an overdose of sexism.<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-13766001396845782022013-08-19T01:42:00.000-07:002013-08-19T01:44:56.955-07:00Life Without FacebookThe Annual Book Fair at Wesley Church, Bangalore… Just a 2 week sale with 60-80% off. <br />
<br />
But I was desperately low on funds. Switching from Auto to bus, sticking homecooked food & adopting zero indulgence policy helped me to become the proud owner of some 30 books- Bond, Saramago, Walker, Dalrymple, Gibran, Pamuk, Bannerjee, Grossmith, Butler, Shakespeare and so on.<br />
<br />
People call me bookworm. But the truth is that I don’t read much. Yes, they always see me with a book- while travelling, in between office breaks, during the walk to & from bus stops, after cooking dinner and on certain Saturdays & Sundays when I decide to give my PC some rest… These scrappy minutes means that it takes atleast 1-2 month for me to finish a book. <br />
<br />
I miss the days I used to finish a book in one sitting, stone deaf to mom’s yells and indifferent to assignments & nature’s call. <br />
I miss the days of sneaking Blyton, Dahl, Crompton, Dickens, Boyle, Twain & all those awesome souls into the text books & read under the pretension of studying.<br />
<br />
Now reading is reduced to random articles on net, people’s blogs, news articles, and sometimes ebooks. But I want to go back to literature! And fill my life with poetry and romance again… <br />
<br />
OK. That’s it! Whats eating my time apart from the necessary stuffs?<br />
<br />
<b><i>Office time- Cant be helped (need money to buy books & pay net bill at the very least)<br />
Freelance work- Cant be helped as I get to write about different stuffs & extra money<br />
Skating, badminton, Karate- Cant give up these. <br />
Meeting up with friends- Hmm… compromisable!!!</i></b><br />
<br />
Social Media- Now here is the real problem. I will miss keeping in touch with my friends who’ve settled overseas. I will miss being on top of things. Vanishing from FB is practically a way to be clueless & look like an idiot when people are discussing trending topics. <br />
<br />
Now I realize its CHECK for all the ques below. Was I addicted? Has FB turned me into a stalker? I'm afraid so… Do I brood over my friends taking expensive holidays & feel jealous? Do I grit my teeth at the obvious flaunting? Has it made me a little too hungry for gossip?<br />
<br />
And moderation- Well, I tried OK? Its just not working. Many reasons. <br />
Firstly, I had NO EXCLUSIVE FB TIME. It was all skimming in between work and lingering for a bit more. Surprising how little things like this can eat into your hours... like termites pulling down a big building. <br />
But yea, I got what I wanted. Loads of time with books. Something I sorely missed but never realized. Of course there is still the itch to Activate Again. But no let me finish reading the books I have… and then join back or perhaps purchase some more. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-1900605230830165452013-04-12T11:43:00.001-07:002013-04-12T11:54:49.727-07:00Molly Aunty Rocks!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div>Living in a city outside Kerala I miss out on lot of good Malayalam movies. In spite of being a big-time fan of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revathi"><b>Revathy</b></a>, I watched her come-back movie Molly Aunty Rocks only after several months of release. Some critics panned this movie due to lack of proper plot and flow. But I loved the movie for its sweet lil moments and subtlety which is so rare these days.<br />
<br />
<b>Loved it because of Molly Aunty- </b><br />
• Wears sleeveless blouse despite her mother-in-law’s disapproval just as she wears her work ethics, mischievousness and eccentricity on her sleeve<br />
• Doesn’t know cooking and is not averse to living on Maggi noodles<br />
• Molly’s style of dealing with setbacks (watch the movie)<br />
• Just like any independent lady, she irks others but very much loved <br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jIkw3Yk8nV8/UWfEy2Tl3gI/AAAAAAAAAGs/y4wUsNKhQZ0/s1600/Molly_Aunty_Rocks.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jIkw3Yk8nV8/UWfEy2Tl3gI/AAAAAAAAAGs/y4wUsNKhQZ0/s320/Molly_Aunty_Rocks.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
<b>Loved it because it is an out and out stereotype fighter:</b><br />
• The movie made a middle-aged lady look beautiful.<br />
• Living alone or wearing modern clothes or having a modern outlook doesn't mean that you’re a frustrated divorcee.<br />
• Husband and wife can dot on each other even if the wife doesn't serve him hot meals.<br />
• Husband is a proud <a href="http://http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/jkg-badges/">Joru Ka Gulam</a><br />
• Husband is not ashamed to stand up and fight the world for his wife.<br />
• Parents needn’t know everything that happens in their kids’ lives. And its OK.<br />
• Its OK to talk about dating and sex with your adult daughters.<br />
• You needn’t shout and scream heavy dialogues to get your point across. A simple gesture and action is good enough. <br />
I wonder why this movie hasn’t inspired any ‘Molly-giri’ revolution among people like ‘Gandhi-giri’ in Munnabhai has. Is it because the protagonist is a woman or because the movie was not impactful enough?Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-31396265699668376832013-02-14T04:32:00.000-08:002013-02-14T04:32:54.759-08:00Strange<br />
When I was doing so many stuffs like skating, badminton, karate classes, job, freelance, studies, travelling, being with friends etc, I still had plenty of leisure time left. Now that I am taking a short break from ‘em all, I seem to have no time.<br />
When a friend at the palliative care unit said- “I’m too sexy and awesome to die”<br />
When a holiday plan surprisingly and randomly coincided with 2 of my best friends’<br />
When I get all huffy and patronizing to annoying kids conveniently forgetting that I was worse. Does this mean I’m an oldie at heart?<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-41859272455016040662012-11-20T00:19:00.000-08:002012-11-25T07:55:50.489-08:00Life is like that, eh?<br />
I noticed this about a few girls I know. They do tend to dumb themselves when they are with their guys. Its quite amusing to see a lady suddenly becoming the damsel in distress when the guy is nearby. I hope I was never like this with any of ‘em… <br />
<br />
Yippie! <a href="https://www.facebook.com/supriya.namrata.3?ref=ts&fref=ts">Supriya </a>came down to Bangalore. But I am afraid it might have been a huge let down for her being an avid backpacker. Since it was a weekday, I couldn't spend much time with her. I couldn’t take her anywhere (not that theres much to do in Blore except for shopping & pubbing). I hope we’ll get to camp out or trek together before she goes back to New Zea. <br />
<br />
Dandruff & hair fall shouldn’t be allowed to have such a hold on you. Im miserable. If you are going to tell me dandruff is unhygienic, just bugger off… Guess it’s a bit late to care. I will just have to think of Demi Moore and be happy (or try to be, sniff!). <br />
<br />
I had a grilling interview with some uncle of a prospective suitor last week. I guess I was quite polite. And the nonstop question round included some piercing peep to life so far. Nothing too gory-personal, thank god- like the person who asked me if I was a virgin or not. Guess he got scared away by my nose-ring, uncovered head, smudged kajal & huge boots that screamed ‘METRO’!<br />
<br />
I met <a href="https://www.facebook.com/kripakbaby?fref=ts">Kripa </a>after so long. Felt great. I had already warned her not to call/meet anyone else as I wanted it to be just the two of us. She was busy packing her paintings for some exhibition. A long scooter ride & strolling in SM Street after so long. Apart from the broken Hindi she picked up from Amdabad & some horny poem played in the shop we went, it was too awesome!<br />
<br />
I wish I could say that my work life is pretty cool. Yea, my team is great. But is some kinda redundancy creeping into my attitude? I almost have to drag myself to my Karate classes these days. And what about that driving test huh? Aarrrghhhh… <br />
<br />
Funny, just because we (friends, cousins) are in the same city, we think ‘yay, what fun’! yet we hardly get time to meet each other even occasionally. Its been more than a month since I last met <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rachel.sneha.3?ref=ts&fref=ts">Rachel</a>. I wonder how Neeraj is doing, him & his superbikey dreams. Abhi must be super pissed at me for not picking his calls.<br />
Hey… Sradha is coming to Blore. ‘Yay, what fun’! Haha… we’ll never change. <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-65300769261991151352012-08-03T02:21:00.000-07:002012-11-20T21:55:54.249-08:00Divorces and Happy Families<br />
An empty Sunday… Heavy rains, no power, no books… Too lazy to clean/cook/iron. My friend put on the Karan Johar flick, ‘We are family’. Yea yea I know!! But that was the only DVD in the house. <br />
<br />
Soon lost in pillows and blankets, we were happily bashing and ridiculing the movie, especially the role of the clueless hubby, the transformation of beer-drinking beti to an ideal daughter… Predictably stereotypical! <br />
<br />
But wait… its not that conventional too now, is it? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cgox49pFTcY/UBuXzwfXYSI/AAAAAAAAAGM/J-Yu95dMd9M/s1600/D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="152" width="203" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cgox49pFTcY/UBuXzwfXYSI/AAAAAAAAAGM/J-Yu95dMd9M/s320/D.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I mean this is the only Hindi movie I know which has handled the topic of ‘Divorce’ in a mature way. The divorced couple takes particular care that their affairs do not affect the kids, yet not hiding anything from them. They remain friendly and support each other. The hubby admires his x-wife’s strength of character and admits that shes a damn good mother. <br />
<br />
Even extra marital affair is also not depicted as ‘<i>wrong</i>’. In spite of having a so-called perfect woman in his life, the hubby falls for another woman. The movie doesn’t specify any reason for that. My friend suggested that the mom, so wrapped up in her motherhood, might have neglected the hubby unknowingly. Whatever the reason is, its not important. <br />
<br />
Why do we probe for justifications when it comes to divorce? Is it necessary that one of the partners has to be a villain? Nobody marries to divorce. They all enter marriage with high hopes of togetherness and all the rest of it (I am not talking about Marriage of Convenience here). Divorce is often a final solution. Why ruin it with numerous advices and sermons on adjustment? <br />
<br />
I remember an interview of a famous actress in which she says that shes good friends with her ex-husband and are business partners. My mummy and aunt exchanged raised eye-brows. The meaning is all-too clear. Why did they divorce if they’re still good friends? Again the probe for ‘genuine reasons’? Isn’t anything that stops you from having a peaceful & happy relationship a genuine reason?<br />
<br />
More than divorce itself, its immature handling of it like bitching about ex-spouse to kids to turn them against him/her, fabricating reasons to humiliate because court needs big reasons to grant divorce, false cases etc with sufficient inputs from relatives, we need to worry about. Disturbing trend! <br />
<br />
I remember a student of mine from Delhi. “My parents are not bad. Just individuals who cannot get along as partners”. She is not one of those emotionally traumatized child hyped by media. She’s a thinking girl who is best friends with her Mom’s boyfriend and is OK if her Dad s to start dating. <br />
<br />
Guess society lacks in this kind of maturity, but never falls short of doling out binge sermons to women to be like Goddess Sita.Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-20348806430830447832012-07-19T10:35:00.000-07:002012-07-19T10:35:48.765-07:00Those days & Ina Mina Dika Times…<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f_KyVJRjIZI/UAhDe03U2gI/AAAAAAAAAF8/XfAmVzOgh10/s1600/I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="312" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f_KyVJRjIZI/UAhDe03U2gI/AAAAAAAAAF8/XfAmVzOgh10/s320/I.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Some people have a way of influencing or even inspiring your life, decisions and all those crap in a totally unexpected & weird way… <br />
Last weekend I was at Pecos with friends, Eric Clapton’s Layla playing in the background. Quite a huge relief that it wasn’t Akon or Justin Bieber! Not that I hate Bieber with a passion like some of my friends, but c’mon they play it everywhere…<br />
<br />
Layla is close to my heart for 2 reasons. One its my Mumm’s name and two its IG and my song. For all those mad times we had in my & later her hostel room, Layla was a constant thingy. Burnt bed sheet, night time chicken cooking, ‘accidental’ smoke holes on my curtain, combine studies, assignments, Dariya Ganj n Pahar Ganj, our shifting n reshiftings, discussions on anythin & everythin under the sun, and OF COURSE lotsa bitching & cribbing…<br />
<br />
And oh, even in Bangalore times (Nandi Hills trek & Koshy’s chit chats), I could feel the presence of Layla.<br />
<br />
IG and my friendship was far from perfect. I used to easily misunderstand her, plagued by what they call the ‘small town’ complex and reinforced by my other friends. <br />
<br />
One of my biggest flaws is that I find it difficult to trust. Instead I’d entertained thoughts like ‘why would someone as intelligent, pretty & popular (universally loved) chum up with me’. May be I resented the tag of ‘IG’s friend’? I don’t know… This in spite of her being there for me whenever I needed her and when not needed too. Ghoshhh… Immature college years, I tell you!<br />
<br />
I never realized how much she has influenced me then… She has taught me to see good in everyone, every bad situation, just everything man… <br />
I never realized this until one of my Kerala friends told me, ‘For God’s sake N, Have you joined sainthood or something?’ This was when she was random bitching about someone and IG’s words sprang out of my mouth… ‘You can’t judge like that… Look at it from her perspective…’ something like that. <br />
<br />
I learned to let go of things from her, to forgive and move on… <br />
‘Hate is a big word, N. And don’t you forget that…’ <br />
<br />
My uninhibited approach in relationships & people came from her. <br />
She always used to say, ‘N, will this matter to you this much, sayyy next week?’ <br />
<br />
My life in metros opened my eyes to countless grey shades of life. But now I come to think of it, most of ‘em came from IG…Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-80053209828749273062012-05-27T13:28:00.000-07:002012-05-27T13:28:08.513-07:00Is Live-in relationship a sign of liberalism or just an excuse?A reunion at a friend's place... you know those talks about everything and nothing pushed by alcohol? It turned into a 'live-in-relationship or not' debate. <br />
<br />
The concept of live-in rel had fascinated me at one point of time. The idea of defying social norms and being in charge of my life, sexuality and all the rest of it... Wow! <b>Or is it the sheer free-thinking spirit of it?</b> I don't know... I was all for it. But now? The funniest bit was I never even realized that I'd changed my views on it. <br />
<br />
My friends looked at me as if I’d grown an extra head. They couldn’t imagine how I turned some sati-savitri all of a sudden! I know around a dozen couples who are/were in live-in. And all of them were abusive; mostly physical. May be those gruesome stories changed my mind. Then someone told me that I shouldn’t generalize live-ins to be bad based on those incidents, like those uncle-aunts saying that love marriages will never sustain. <br />
<br />
<b>But don’t we all formulate our views based on what we/our people experience?<br />
</b><br />
~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
<b>Incident 1:</b> I visited my friend who was sharing a 1 bhk with her bf. She was washing 2 bucketfuls of his clothes, including undergarments. For some reason, the sight of men’s underwear always grosses me out (my problem ). Well, its not that I’m against partners doing things for one another. But she suffers from severe backpain and he knew it. Not to mention emotional abuses and all the rest of it. Basically she was not happy. But it took her a long time to break it off with him. <br />
<br />
<b>Incident 2:</b> Another friend decided to move in with her bf and we all met up at Mocha to celebrate. He was amazing, funny and intelligent with a Shahid Kapoor kinda cute face. We all loved him instantly. He made us laugh nonstop. He was ever the gentleman and dropped us back to hostel. <br />
<br />
<b>She stopped coming to college, stopped calling us. I didn’t think much of it. Friends do take a backseat when you’re in a new relationship. </b>4 months later I got a call from hospital. Her mother, who thinks that her daughter is in hostel! When I went there I was shocked. She was black and blue. God, alone knows how I managed to lie to aunty... <br />
<br />
<b>Incident 3:</b> In this case it’s the guy. She put a full stop to all his bloke-time after they got together. Calling him every 5 minutes even in the middle of meetings, sometimes to check where he is or see if his line is engaged. I’m already sick of giving him the same advice. Break up! <b>But according to him, when you look at the bigger picture, this nagging counts as nothing. And he needs a bigger reason to break up.</b> Otherwise he’d end up being the villain. Thanks to her, hes now friendless and scared of being lonely. Hes still with her, unhappy but together.<br />
<br />
<b>Incident 4</b>: <b>Its not just students whos vulnerable and cling to abusive relationships, but high-flying professionals too</b>. In this case, he made her sever ties with all her friends and even family. He used to beat her for speaking to other guys; check her calls and emails. It took 7 months and plenty of my talktime to convince her to escape. <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
And I can go on and on… May be its not the fault of the live-in system. Personally speaking, <b>I don’t think Indians are ready for this.</b> We are still so stuck in our so-called culture, conditioning and all those crap. Even when one moves in, she has this guilt-thing that ‘I’m doing something wrong’ at the back of her mind. If you yourself are not convinced why take this step? Or is it the sex? Yea, live-in gives a perfect platform to have sex. But come on… you don’t need to move in with someone to have sex. You-are-Adult, your life, decision and all that? <br />
<br />
<b>Isn’t moving in a bigger step than sex in a relationship? </b>People become so weak emotionally… Isn’t love supposed to make people stronger and push them forward? Or am I stuck in some Utopian timezone?<br />
<br />
Here are some million-dollar dialogues from my live-in friends-<br />
<br />
<b>“I’m scared to break up N. Anyway I gotta get married no? What if my future husband finds about this? He will divorce me. So better I stay with this guy only even if he beats me”.<i></i></b> Some liberalness!<br />
<br />
<b>“He always makeup after a fight with gifts and pampering (fight here means beating). Then I feel bad and try to move on”.<i></i></b> Nice technique, making the abused feel bad!<br />
<br />
<b>“He keeps threatening to send our pics to my dad. I don’t have any escape”.<i></i></b> Last time I checked, blackmailing is a crime even in India. <br />
<b><br />
“She cries at the slightest hint of break up. I can’t handle that. I want to find a way so that she won’t be hurt”.<i></i></b> When? In next birth?<br />
<br />
These are the stories of my friends and college students I counsel. And I have their permission.Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-59177205667273860572012-05-24T05:36:00.000-07:002012-05-24T05:36:56.667-07:00Cribs to God...When it happened again, I just wanted to die, wanted to end it. I mean, I am sick of myself. This is the second time I am losing my purse in Blore. Someone found it, called me and returned it. <br />
Though I had to travel to the other end of the city, search and find this person, which meant being late to work... So much of effort, money, time! And killer heat on top of that. I hate my life. No, I don't mean that. <br />
<br />
Well, who says big cities are nests of rogues & opportunists? Blore has some honest people and I have met 2 of them...Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-46013725403542198042012-04-16T05:04:00.001-07:002012-04-17T22:19:58.580-07:00Happy 123rd Mr. ChaplinThey say Charlie Chaplin's walk looked as normal as can be when his movies were originally shot... <br />
I remember feeling so disappointed when I learned these technical aspects of old movies in my cinematography class... <br />
<br />
I hope my children will enjoy your movies as much as I did.Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-64906261058002118302012-03-29T09:46:00.004-07:002012-04-04T11:41:17.910-07:00I have a feeling that I am not going to be a...... 'so-great' mom<br />
<br />
I have always craved for a child, a girl child to be precise. My friends seemed surprised. For them I will always be the immature bacchi who will either change the channel or turn away even at the sight of a lip lock scene on the telly. <br />
<br />
Its not that I am a great kids person. I am not. I don't fawn over 3-9 months olds or pull their cheeks and exclaim 'how chweet'. I don't even hold them and have ended up offending quite a few new moms. You know how they are. Well, I do have a special gift with annoying kids. Like if the kid is 3 year old then I'd be the 2 year old one. <br />
<br />
Yet I want a child. I want to adopt one. No, I have no intention to be the next Sush (I mean, who can). I do visit orphanages in my free time. Others call this social service. Its not. I am doing myself a favour by filling my lazy afternoons like this. Orphanages are no discotheques but just as fun. Actually more so. <br />
<br />
Now its not as if you adopt one just like that. In India, the legal peaks of adoption have no end to them. But forget the legalities of it, there are other pressing matters. You need to feel some connection. And I have felt it with her. Her name is Ziha. I named her. <br />
<br />
I found her near the Blore railway station. I used to work for the B-organization for child welfare during weekends. They have 4 orphanages in Blore, though badly funded. I am not sure, but I think she was 8 or 9 months old. Her face was grubby, she stank, she was bawling; but it was love at first sight. <br />
<br />
I couldn't take my eyes off her bluish grey eyes. When cleaned up, fed and put to sleep, I thought she looked like an angel. I became a frequent visitor at the orphanage. Before, I used to go to have fun with the kids there. After Ziha happened I had eyes only for her. She had me completely wrapped around her finger. <br />
<br />
I wanted her. I wanted to adopt. But adoption procedures that too for an unmarried Muslim girl like me- do I need to say more? I remember telling Sister, "Juz give her to me. Who is going to know? I found her after all." <br />
<br />
Constant nagging and pressure to stop seeing Ziha from my friends (social work trainees) who knew about this didn't help the matters. They kept attacking me with questions like- Even if you manage to adopt how are you going to manage? You don't earn enough to support her. What about when you go off to work. Kids need constant attention. What about your parents? What will happen when you marry? Oh my God! I wished to goodness that they were working somewhere else. <br />
<br />
But it really stung when they said it was not love but an unhealthy obsession. I lost it. <br />
<br />
Childless parents visit orphanages frequently. Every time when I hear about someone coming to visit from Sister, my heart’d beat wildly. I couldn’t help hoping that Ziha would go unnoticed from evil eyes. Shes mine. I despised myself for this. It wasn’t fair. She can’t wait in the orphanage till I make up my mind, till I tell my mummy and papa… And there was a huge chance that my request for adoption would be denied…<br />
<br />
But again Ziha is a beautiful child and the youngest there. Of course she’d be taken. Sister convinced me for that. She doesn’t live at the orphanage now. I don’t know where she is now. I can find out if I want to. But I won’t. Its nearly one year since all these…<br />
<br />
<b>I have discovered an important thing about myself. I am not capable of true love. If I had truly loved her, I’d have fought tooth and nail for her. I wouldn’t have let her go. I wouldn’t have let myself be convinced by Sister that shes better off with ‘a mother <i>and </i>a father’. I would have told my parents the truth and done what I should have, no matter what. But I have let her go. <br />
<br />
It was and is still like looking into a mirror that shows you your ugly dark side. Isn't it amazing, the length we go to convince ourselves (and of course others) that we are good people? Yet we forget that there is no escape from the evil in our heart, selfishness that bounds tight & cowardice that rule our hearts. Its easy not to fight, and its easier to give up half way... Why 'easy' always win over 'right? Of course we are experts at making excuses that insult conscience. And we let ourselves be convinced and then move on with a heavy heart. <br />
<br />
I won’t say I love you Ziha. I have no right to. I hope, if there is a next time I will do what I want and what is right.</b>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-67950567051668133392012-03-11T23:14:00.007-07:002012-03-12T23:17:03.575-07:00Celebrating Myself<a href="http://www.zivame.com/?utm_source=blog_contest&utm_medium=blog_contest&utm_content=blog_contest&utm_campaign=blog_contest" target="_blank" alt="Celebrating Myself" width="350px"><img src="http://www.womensweb.in/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/celebratingmyself.jpg"></a><br />
<a href="http://profile.keralamatrimony.com/Malayalam/Muslim-Mapila-groom+E1891641&osa=sphxos"></a><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><img src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png" style="background-color: #b2b2b2; " class="BLOGGER-object-element tr_noresize tr_placeholder" id="ieooui" data-original-id="ieooui" /> <style>
st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) }
</style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ansi-language:#0400;
mso-fareast-language:#0400;
mso-bidi-language:#0400;}
</style> <![endif]--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">Please have a look at <a href="http://profile.keralamatrimony.com/Malayalam/Muslim-Mapila-groom+E1891641&osa=sphxos">this link</a>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"><a href="http://profile.keralamatrimony.com/Malayalam/Muslim-Mapila-groom+E1891641&osa=sphxos">http://profile.keralamatrimony.com/Malayalam/Muslim-Mapila-groom+E1891641&osa=sphxos</a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">This was the one accidentally sent to me by my well-wisher. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. I was livid. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">And I discussed this with a few friends of mine. One of them sent me around 20 other profiles with similar demands. She was like why are you so angry, this is sooo common. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I mean, look at the audacity of the guy to post this in a public forum and say so blatantly that girl’s father should be alive. They know they can easily get away with this horrendously sick attitude and all the cash packed in suitcase by the father-in-law. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">Most girls’-dads take the cheerful view of- What is wrong in helping your son-in-law? At the end of the day it is all for my own daughter. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">In all the cases I know (and I know way too many) love/marriage ends with the end of money-flow. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">~~~~</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I am a 26 year old Muslim girl from Kozhikode. Unmarried. So unlike a normal working-in-another-city girl, I don’t look forward to go home these days. Wedding, guys, marriage, proposals and suchlike were occasional topics before. Now these are the only discussions at home. They say they’ve registered me in some matrimonial sites. Trying very hard not to think of me as something put up for sale at the mart, I plugged in my earphones. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I tune out everything around me when asked to look through profiles. I am supposed to comment, pass remarks, choose and like one! And yea, I can only like one. Thank god for small mercies!!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I feel bile rising in my throat. I pretend I gotta pee and rush to bathroom. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">~~~~</div><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: medium none; margin-left: 5.4pt; width: 583px;"><tbody>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0;"> <td style="border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">OTHERS Say this</b></div></td> <td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When I AM Like</b></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 1;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">MOM: How will you manage when you marry?</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I’m your typical absent minded prof</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 2;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">FLATMATE: Your hubby will divorce you.</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">My room is clean but messy</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 3;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">MOM: What if we don’t find someone open to all your craziness</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I love skating</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 4;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">FRIEND: Guys like ‘girls’, you know</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">Bikes are my passion</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 5;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">FRIEND: Men can be dark or fair, but they always want their girls to be fair.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">(This is not true. I know many happy fair hubby-dark wife jodi)</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">I am dark and I don’t have time or interest for facials, sunscreens and sandal powders</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 6;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">You need to break this habit of sitting shut in the room. When you marry…</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">Privacy and space (no compromise)</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 7;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">FRIEND: Your mommy-in-law’d take you to task. </div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">My chapattis are never round and sometimes burnt at the edges. Hopefully it will get good after more practice. </div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 8;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">MOST: You are so arrogant. Its not good for a girl to be so arrogant.</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">My flaws, my problems, my business</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="height: .5in; mso-yfti-irow: 9; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"> <td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 219.85pt;" valign="top" width="293"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">Happy Women’s Day</div></td> <td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: .5in; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 217.55pt;" valign="top" width="290"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">Bollocks! Its like trying to pacify a dog with a bit of bone after you have devoured a full chicken in front of it. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">We don’t need your gnawed bones. We know how to take whats ours </div></td> </tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">No matter how much I convince in what all languages I know, they will never be convinced. It will always be back to square one! ‘Baby, you need to get married’. I don’t know how to convince people that I am happy single and I do not desire a companion, at least not until I see my soul mate. And this is not because I have friends. It is because I love my independence, my choices and most of all myself, with all my flaws.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: justify;">This blog post is on its way to <a href="http://www.womensweb.in/articles/celebrating-myself/?utm_source=ww_ad&utm_medium=ww_ad&utm_content=ww_ad&utm_campaign=bww_ad">Women's Web</a> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div></div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-30504816725817140702012-02-11T09:39:00.000-08:002012-02-11T09:39:41.369-08:00Its just a condom silly<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>ML</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267"> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:Kartika;
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style> <![endif]--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">Reading IHM’s blog about a lady’s flustering experience of buying a condom took me back to our fresher’s party at the main hall of Delhi School of Social Work. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Except for the precious one or two hardly anyone cried at seniors’ interrogation aka ragging at anytime. I mean, they were quite nice to me. But still I was feeling a tad nervous, least because I was a thousand miles from home. ‘C’mon now, you are not a 10 year old off to boarding school for the first time. You are an MA student.’ This thought didn’t help much. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Professors made speeches. Seniors danced, sang. We interacted and received gifts, nothing much. Then we reached the killer game. Seniors divided us into groups of 5 and gave 2-3 condoms to each group. I somehow stopped a horrified EWW escape me. Believe it or not, that was the first time I saw one. With shaking fingers I took it and dropped it immediately. We were supposed to think of OTHER creative ways to utilize a condom and present it to the audience. HOW?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Condom is kind of hard to touch, but light too. I tried to find out the stretching point to tear it. Wasn’t possible. Okay, now what? My mind was numbly blank or blankly numb. SB tugged the condom impatiently out of my hands. ‘Oh C’mon, Nidaa.. Don’t play with it as if you are seeing a condom for the first time’. She meant it a joke. I laughed, making her believe it so, all the while my heart was beating painfully. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">She started handling it skillfully and came up with the idea. Lovers from different ships can use this to float messages to one another. We made a kind of play, something to do with a pirate and her mistress, separated and lonely in different ships. Another team blew it up real long, that it was almost my height, drew eyes nose and tongue and did something. After our presentation, I started to feel a bit dizzy. I sat down quickly. ‘What happened suddenly? You are shivering. Oh my God, you have fever. But you were alright 2 minutes ago…’ I knew SB was concerned, but I wished she’d shut up. My head was spinning. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Then just as suddenly I was OK. I can safely blame it on my first experience of touching a condom. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Shamefully, I confessed to SB and IG that Im hopelessly inexperienced and don’t know anything. Heck, my main in high school was computer science and not biology. They laghed and were like its just a condom silly… </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">One of my seniors came to me as I was sitting far from everyone. When he asked what happened I felt a bit awkward.Then I burst out, ‘why why dya have to embarrass us like this, RJ Bhayya.. you guys are always thinking of ways to torment us girls…’ I was rambling. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">He wasn’t angry. He patted my shoulder and said as social workers we have to face lots. Like going to sex workers community and advocate use of condoms, like giving HIV workshops to truck drivers and suchlike. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">‘If you yourself are scared of holding a condom, how are you going to help people and empower them?’ This game is to help you in the long run. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">And it did.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I smiled at him and looked at my classmates. They were playing with condom balloons, throwing and catching. I got up. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">‘Nidaa..’ </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">‘Yes, Bhai?’</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">‘Its just a condom silly…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">I laughed and joined my classmates in their foolery. At the time I couldn't help feeling that innocence is stupendously overrated. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Months later, when at a workshop, a NACO representative was demonstrating how to use a condom. When he said you shouldn't put it on like socks, I was the one who laughed the loudest. </div></div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-31235375053391646022012-01-12T01:58:00.000-08:002012-01-12T01:58:24.222-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><img src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png" style="background-color: #b2b2b2; " class="BLOGGER-object-element tr_noresize tr_placeholder" id="ieooui" data-original-id="ieooui" /> <style>
st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) }
</style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ansi-language:#0400;
mso-fareast-language:#0400;
mso-bidi-language:#0400;}
</style> <![endif]--> <div style="text-align: justify;">Okay Universe, I said I have had enough excitement for say, a month or so, after that mugging incident. And its NOT one month yet. I mean, c'mon give me a break! Or is it too much to ask you? Why don't you give virtual heart attacks to some others for a change?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Its like this... My phone fell down from the third floor window as I was guppa-fying with my friends. Down down down and it crashed just near where my friend parked her 'knight'. Numbly, I registered Rachel and Pallavi race down. But someone else reached there first. He picked up all the bits and pieces and deposited them in Rachel's hands as she came down. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then just as I was about to hyperventilate, she came running upstairs saying, "your phone is awesome. its still intact. Nidaa.. Nidaa.. See? Your phone is intact. You know what, I'm gifting this to my bro"!!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Take that all of you who have said/thought my phone as 'Blackberry Ape'. Its KARBONN K46! Get it?</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1897123856240347285.post-41399633032783633902011-12-13T23:20:00.000-08:002011-12-13T23:20:43.706-08:00Something always stops you somehow…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;"><b>…from forgiving snitches. </b></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">Sometimes when I relive rare and typical moments of school memory lanes, it often ends up bittersweet. Today I got an FB friend request from an old forgotten classmate. I hated her. Not only was a goody-two shoes teacher’s pet, one day she shouted out in class that I’d forgotten my notebook and was actually writing notes in rough note book, causing me to be beaten on my knuckles with a wooden ruler. I remember ambushing her to a bathroom, delivering a punch on the nose and running off, scared stiff. For some reason and to my great relief, she never complained. But we remained enemies throughout school. <br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">Trust me, the beatings/canings were really not that big a deal. I used to get them on a daily basis from both school and ‘madrasa’ (Islamic studies class). Often these beatings were, thanks to darling snitches that seemed to be buzzing around everywhere. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">Every day I used to make an oath – Today there won’t be any trouble with teachers or students. But it always happened. Either there would be punishments for speaking Malayalam or forgotten homework or tiffs with classmates or something else. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">I think my sense of independence and eccentric love for freedom were literally molded by these snitches only. Because my bitterness and anger with the situation predictably led me to have thoughts like, <b><span style="color: #990000;">‘why do teachers listen to what kids say in matters like these', 'why can't people mind their own ass for a change' </span></b>etc. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I remember in my class 8, a girl was caught n a date by teachers. Her best friend snitched probably thinking she was doing a great social service. The drama followed was horrendous. More rules in an already too-strict convent school, parents meetings, endless discussions, tears… In short, the girl’s reputation was ruined. Everybody shunned her. Treated her like a criminal. Yea, like nobody remotely even heard of the concept of dating! She shifted to another school.<br />
<br />
Kids <b><i>can </i></b>be pretty cruel. I agree with whoever said this. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">Then a reversal of roles happened. I became a teacher’s pet. 3 teachers, in fact. One was the most formidable, another was the coolest and the third was an ice cold exterior with a golden heart if you dig deeper. Of course being noticed for something other than trouble was quite nice for a change. That was when I finally accepted that teachers too are human. I got my chance to snitch as I had teachers practically hanging on my words. But it somehow wouldn’t come. Even about my enemies. That was one of the proudest moments. YES, I was loyal to my classmates even though I'm not friends with half of them. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">After 10<sup>th</sup> I was glad to go to a new school, where rules were relaxed. But there was no escaping from snitches of course. Someone reported me climbing over the wall behind canteen and bunking school on a regular basis. TROUBLE. And I still don’t know who was as jobless as that. But after that snitches never directly affected me. Though I hardly know most of my classmates even now, I was vaguely aware that tattlers were causing many dramas in people’s lives. Teachers actually appointed spies to find out the petty things going on in class, usually dating and such. And if enough proof was collected, parents were summoned. YEA… this happened. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">I myself was a witness to my class teacher publicly humiliating a parent because his daughter was seeing someone. I mean, what were we supposed to do? Ignore the guys' charm and pretend to be asexual? Sorry, I don't think that girls are made like that. Then WHAT exactly? I'm still clueless. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">One thing, college was a completely snitch-free zone. May be because teachers care two hoots about the supposed dating or bunking or boozing. May be because students have each others’ back whether they like each other or not. May be everybody had a life. May be ‘they’ finally accepted that we are adults (though I somehow doubt it). </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">Now in work life, snitching is not that uncommon, though people do it stealthily and subtly. Yet we all deal with it admirably, being calm, composed and smiley. Well, we are <i>professionals</i> after all. </div></div>Nidaa C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/15289774987660146333noreply@blogger.com0