Divorces and Happy Families
An empty Sunday… Heavy rains, no power, no books… Too lazy to clean/cook/iron. My friend put on the Karan Johar flick, ‘We are family’. Yea yea I know!! But that was the only DVD in the house.
Soon lost in pillows and blankets, we were happily bashing and ridiculing the movie, especially the role of the clueless hubby, the transformation of beer-drinking beti to an ideal daughter… Predictably stereotypical!
But wait… its not that conventional too now, is it?
I mean this is the only Hindi movie I know which has handled the topic of ‘Divorce’ in a mature way. The divorced couple takes particular care that their affairs do not affect the kids, yet not hiding anything from them. They remain friendly and support each other. The hubby admires his x-wife’s strength of character and admits that shes a damn good mother.
Even extra marital affair is also not depicted as ‘wrong’. In spite of having a so-called perfect woman in his life, the hubby falls for another woman. The movie doesn’t specify any reason for that. My friend suggested that the mom, so wrapped up in her motherhood, might have neglected the hubby unknowingly. Whatever the reason is, its not important.
Why do we probe for justifications when it comes to divorce? Is it necessary that one of the partners has to be a villain? Nobody marries to divorce. They all enter marriage with high hopes of togetherness and all the rest of it (I am not talking about Marriage of Convenience here). Divorce is often a final solution. Why ruin it with numerous advices and sermons on adjustment?
I remember an interview of a famous actress in which she says that shes good friends with her ex-husband and are business partners. My mummy and aunt exchanged raised eye-brows. The meaning is all-too clear. Why did they divorce if they’re still good friends? Again the probe for ‘genuine reasons’? Isn’t anything that stops you from having a peaceful & happy relationship a genuine reason?
More than divorce itself, its immature handling of it like bitching about ex-spouse to kids to turn them against him/her, fabricating reasons to humiliate because court needs big reasons to grant divorce, false cases etc with sufficient inputs from relatives, we need to worry about. Disturbing trend!
I remember a student of mine from Delhi. “My parents are not bad. Just individuals who cannot get along as partners”. She is not one of those emotionally traumatized child hyped by media. She’s a thinking girl who is best friends with her Mom’s boyfriend and is OK if her Dad s to start dating.
Guess society lacks in this kind of maturity, but never falls short of doling out binge sermons to women to be like Goddess Sita.